Going to the Chapel - Tips On Church Weddings

Whew!  We just had an awesome bridal fair at the Paso Robles Inn this weekend, and had so much fun meeting all the newly engaged couples (we hope you were one of them!).  During our conversations we noticed a few interesting trends. 

One was the HUGE range of colors that you ladies are considering for your weddings.  This follows the trend towards personalizing your wedding, and while it's harder for us to design a bridal fair booth with general appeal, it also makes our job as your wedding designers a lot more fun!  We love customizing and designing to your unique taste, and are excited at the prospect of working with everything from a peacock theme, to a rustic barn with full fall foliage.  THE trend of 2012 is YOU.


Multi-jewel tone wedding.  Photo courtesy of Melissa Fitzpatrick.

The other interesting trend we noticed, was a return to the church.  Over the past 3 years we've had very few church weddings, with our couples choosing to exchange vows at their reception venue instead.  However, this wedding expo gave us a great sampling of many different wedding visions and a large number included a traditional ceremony at church.  Our guess is that current fixation with all things beautiful, antique, and vintage is well suited to the setting of church ceremonies.
If you too are considering "Going to the Chapel", check out our tips below.

Getting married in a church or other place of worship is a beautiful and traditional way to become united in marriage. We honestly love church ceremonies, and both of our coordinators actually tied the knot in traditional Catholic ceremonies! However, there are several considerations that you won't encounter with other venues.

Space

How much room does your church have for your guests? Too little, and you have to cut your guest list, or only invite a portion of your guests to the ceremony and the entire group to the reception. Too big, and your ceremony and décor will be dwarfed by the space. Look for a balance – large enough for your guest count, plus a little extra room for your photographer and coordinators to navigate without disturbing the ceremony. If your space doesn't fit your guest list, ask your pastor or rabbi if they would consider performing the ceremony at your reception location to keep the spiritual element while opening up more venue options.

Traditional Church Ceremony.  Photo courtesy of Sullivan Studios.

Marriage Prep Requirements

Many churches require pre-marriage counselling, classes and/or retreats. We are HUGE advocates for this (even if you're not getting married in a church!) but this can be time consuming, and may entail extra expenses.  In addition, if you and your fiance are not of the same religion or have been previously married, your church may place additional requirements or restrictions on you. If you want to get married at your childhood church, but now live elsewhere, ask if you can do the marriage preparation at a church closer to home.  If you are hoping to get married in a church, make sure you ask about their pre-marriage requirements and start working on them sooner rather than later – you don't want to be working on homework the week before your wedding!

Dress Code

While most churches have adjusted to our casual society (and the resulting attire), some maintain strict dress codes that will vary both between religions, and individual churches. For example, I was married at a local Catholic church where my husband and I first met 7 years prior. I asked the priest about dress code before going gown shopping, and his stance was “If you're comfortable wearing it in front of your grandma, I don't care”. I ended up wearing a traditional but strapless a-line and a veil. Then a few months later, my cousin got married, also in a Catholic church, in Los Angeles. That particular parish mandated that women were not allowed into the church unless their arms were covered. She wore a dress with long sleeves, and the church coordinator passed out black shawls to the female guests as they arrived to make sure their shoulders and arms were hidden away. Mormon churches also have strict dress codes, and Jewish temples will request that the male guests wear a yarmulke or kippah during the ceremony. In my opinion, the dress code shouldn't deter you from celebrating your marriage in a place of worship, but it is something you need to respectfully consider during the planning process.

Dress: Legends by Ramona Keveza

Scheduling

Churches provide many services to many groups, and your wedding might be squeezed in-between a morning rummage sale and evening service, or even backed up to another wedding! Make sure that you have plenty of time for the setup, ceremony, photos, and cleanup! There can also be annual scheduling conflicts that could be easily avoided if you are flexible on your date – Christian churches celebrate Lent in the 40 days prior to Easter and during this time, no flowers or celebratory décor are allowed in many churches. Also, once Advent starts (4 Sundays prior to Christmas) you will likely be sharing your ceremony with Christmas décor and a nativity. Most religions have seasonal celebrations and times of fasting, so make sure you check for conflicts before booking your date.

Photo courtesy of Melissa Fitzpatrick.

Dealing with the logistics of church weddings, really isn't very difficult, especially if you start the process with open eyes.  And if it's truly what's in your heart, then there is no better way to invite God into your marriage than to have your wedding at His house :) As with any wedding, there might be a few bumps along the road, so our advice is to “Let go, and let God”....and hire a great coordinator!